Anonymous Heroes and #theemptychair

     I am often struck by how prevalent and insidious victim-blaming is even amongst people who would be (and are) offended should I accuse them of it. The Louisiana Supreme Court, Justice Knoll in particular, took “umbrage” with me for, as Justice Knoll said, my “online and social media activity that not only released the names of [minor children who were accusing their father of sexually abusing them], but also linked their audio conversations ...  detailing their abuse allegations ... [with] their faces on the world wide web for anyone to see.”

     I think many people who might otherwise disagree with the Supreme Court's decision to disbar me (see In re McCool, 2015-B-0254 (La. 6/30/2015)) nevertheless also experience a certain sense of discomfort with this particular issue. Some of my most loyal supporters have expressed a certain level of disapproval with me on this point and feel the need to make excuses for me, saying in some form or another, that my intentions were good, but in this respect, I probably went too far.

     I don't want to give the impression that I am attempting to justify not making any effort to hide the identity of these children. The fact is, I don't think I need to defend it because at the time I “linked their audio conversations online" - in other words, their description of the “game” their daddy had taught them called “weewees and butts” - and “posted their faces” on the web “for anyone to see,” they felt no shame about their disclosure or telling about what had been done to them. I saw no reason then to hide who they are, and if not for society's misguided efforts to "protect" them by hiding their identity, I wouldn't see any reason to hide it today.

     We haven't always confused concealing the identity of rape victims with “protection."  It was not that long ago when defense attorneys, during the trial of the rapist, were allowed to grill victims about how they were dressed and their sexual history as a means of shifting blame away from their rapist and back onto them, the practice that gave victim blaming its name.  It is only recently that police and prosecutors have stopped releasing the names of rape victims, and this practice was specifically adopted to protect victims from being attacked in the media and in their communities as “whores,” “liars,” and somehow deserving or the cause of what had "happened" to them. 

     The irony is that the need to hide the victims' identities was to protect them from the public, not their rapists. We, the public – we're the menace that rape victims – and child victims of incest and sexual abuse – must be protected from.  It is a testament to how entrenched victim blaming is that we rarely - if ever - question why it would be necessary to hide the identities of these particular victims, unlike any other victim of any other crime.  Society is so used to shaming and being shamed about sex, especially when it comes to the sexual activity of women, that the best solution for the character assassination that rape victims were subjected to by the public and the justice system, was to force the victims to bear the burden of  what had "happened" to them, as if it hadn't been done to them.  

     The fact is, if victim blaming weren't so insidious and accepted within our society, we wouldn't need to hide rape victims' identity from that very same society.   And the greatest irony is that hiding the identity of the most vulnerable victims - children- doesn't protect children at all, especially in family court.  It only serves to protect the perpetrators.  

     Those two little girls continue to be my heroes. They were so brave then and continue to be brave to this day: still trapped in the courts; still fighting to be heard; still struggling to be protected by our “justice” system. If it were up to me, I would say their names every time I tell their story and publish all the evidence of what their father did to them for everyone to read, since the courts couldn't be bothered to look at it.  I would tell the world that the shame lies solely with their abuser and the judges who presided over this case and who didn't just have an opportunity to look at the evidence in the case - they had a sworn duty to look at it.  

      It is all the Justice Knolls of the world who hide their conduct, but not their names,  behind their black robes and the "best interest of the child" doctrine who should be ashamed.  In their arrogance and ignorance, they make victims out of heroes, and pat themselves on the back for "protecting" children from public damnation, but not from the monsters who abuse them. I am disgusted that these girls, and thousand of other victims of rape, incest and sexual abuse who find the courage to speak out against their abusers and rapists, are NOT protected or celebrated as heroes for speaking out against the worst betrayal a child can endure, but instead offered anonymity as comfort and no protection whatsoever.  

    Judges all over the country, every day, call children liars; they tell these children they've been brainwashed, and they tell them to shut up and never speak of what's being done to them again; they tell these children that if they keep complaining, these judges – in their infinite hubris – will take these children away from the parent who would protect them, and put them with the very person the children are begging to be protected from. They tell these children that, if he or she doesn't stop repeating their allegations of abuse, they will put these children in jail.  

     And finally, these judges – in their infinite stupidity that is otherwise referred to as "discretion" - tell these desperate children that they will put their parent in jail. But not the one who is hurting them. No. They tell these children that their protective parent will go to jail, unless the children shut up and lie and never speak of the abuse again.  This is what judges all over the country consider acting "in the child's best interest."  And they do all this without ever bothering, and absolutely refusing to in the case that ultimately got me disbarred, to look at a shred of evidence.  

     And so, the children who start out telling about what was done to them end up living in fear that someone will find out about what "happened" to them; they lower their eyes and feel tainted; damaged; second-best; undeserving of real love. And study after study shows that victims of childhood abuse, rape and sexual abuse are much more likely to choose abusive relationships as adults, because, at some level, they believe its all they deserve. They have gotten the message loud and clear that if anyone knew what "happened" to them, they will be pitied and scorned.  They logically conclude that if anyone who is decent and kind pays them any attention, they are lucky, and if that person turns out to be not-so decent and kind? Well then, they're still lucky to have anyone who will ever show them kindness, in spite of their shame, even if it is punctuated by brutality.

    Because it was never my decision whether or not to identify these two particular little girls who chose for themselves to speak out and tell anyone who would listen what was being done to them, I won't identify them now, but not because I pity them for what was done to them, no matter how vile. I pity us as a nation that we are so clueless  that we prefer to silence the victims rather than silence those who would blame the victims; that rather than being empowered by their ability to protect themselves through disclosure, victims of rape, incest and sexual assault of all ages are told that we will protect them by keeping their "shame" a secret.  I especially pity anyone who thinks that Justice Knoll's "umbrage" is some sign that she has any idea at all of what is in children's "best interest."    

     Justice Knoll has no idea what she's talking about.   Her "umbrage" would be better directed at the two trial court judges who violated the law and deprived these two girls and their mother, not just of justice, but even access to justice.  Her umbrage should be directed at herself for using these children as a disguise for her outrage at me and my willingness to criticize other judges for failing to do what they are sworn to do.  Her umbrage should be with everyone, including herself, who would shame me for saying the names of two young warriors who fight every day to be safe from their father and the courts; her umbrage should be with their father who used them for his own self-gratification and the judges who helped him by refusing to admit evidence "for one reason or another, as judges do." 

    So Justice Knoll can take all the umbrage with me she wants, and frankly, she can take it with her straight to hell. The devil I believe in has a special place reserved just for her.