2015 10 30 Hunger Strike update Day 30

2015 10 14 Hunger strike video

2015 10 13 Hunger Strike video

2015 10 12 Hunger Strike video

2015 10 11 HS video

2015 10 10 HS update

My Movie

2015 10 08 Hunger Strike update

Wake up and smell the blood spatter. The system is broken.

Oct 8, 2015 — This video began circulating last night (10/7/15) and it's apparently creating quite a stir in the media. I can only imagine what the general public's reaction is to this judge's demeanor toward this woman, a member of the public that this judge serves, and also clearly a victim of domestic violence, but I have no doubt that most people will sympathize with this judge.

It's a sickness in this country that I think speaks volumes about where victim blaming comes from, and why it's so prevalent. For those who are compassion-challenged, it is instinctive to identify with the composed, well groomed powerful figure wearing the black robe, and look contemptuously upon the sniveling, whiny mess pleading for mercy.

Let me share with you my firsthand experience that may shed some light on #whywomenstay.

Several years ago, a mom showed up in my office without an appointment. She was just coming from court, where she had gone without a lawyer, seeking a protective order for her children who were between the age of 8 & 12.

Up until a few weeks before, she and her ex-husband had shared 50/50 custody of their children, one week with dad, one week with mom. One day, toward the end of mom’s parenting time, her youngest disclosed that her dad was fondling her while she was in bed - crawling on top of her and rubbing her breasts and kissing her. She said it was happening to her sister as well. Mom immediately called her other children in, and they all confirmed these awful facts.

So mom immediately took her children to the police station. The police questioned the children and opened an investigation. Child Protective Services was notified. Mom was told to take her children for a forensic interview and was told where to go and when to show up.

With the end of her parenting time coming, mom asked if she could keep the children with her rather than send them to their abuser. No, she was told, she would have to send them back or she would be in contempt of court. Mom was stunned. But how could she send them back there? How could that be right? She was told that she was bound to “obey” that court order, signed by a judge, no matter what, but that she should immediately seek a protective order which could legally convey her temporary custody to her until the investigation was closed.

So mom went down and applied for a protective order. She was relieved when the judge, without delay, signed an immediate order granting her temporary custody of the children. However, in order to keep custody of them, she would have to appear in court in a few days to put on her evidence and get a "permanent" order. Truly “permanent” protective orders are rare. They expire by operation of law on a date set by the judge, because apparently, judges can tell how long batterers pose as a threat to their victims.

But I digress.

Mom didn’t have an attorney and couldn’t afford one. She's wasn’t receiving child support b/c of the 50/50 custody arrangement and she was already missing a lot of work because of the crisis with her kids. But she didn’t think she needed one. She believed the judge would be at least as concerned as she was about the safety of her children, and would be intent upon getting to the truth.

So she showed up for the hearing before the judge (actually a domestic commissioner) without an attorney, and that's when her education began. Not only was the commissioner, a guy named Dan Foil, not remotely concerned about the possibility that her children were being abused by their dad, he seemed to enjoy finding reasons to dismiss her concerns. Even better, dad, who was significantly better off financially than mom, showed up with a criminal defense attorney who proceeded to attack mom with irrelevant and completely spurious questions that suggested mom was morally and emotionally unfit. Without an attorney, she was defenseless.

I wasn't there, but I read the transcript. It was disgraceful. Commissioner Foil did nothing to protect the mother from the completely improper questioning by the dad’s attorney, which was solely designed to humiliate and embarrass her. Mom walked out of court not only without a protective order, but ordered to pay all court costs and dad's attorney's fees to boot.

Welcome to family court.

Wouldn't you think that someone who was actually fit for the job of issuing protective orders for victims of domestic violence would be concerned that the mother' naiveté and unpreparedness was preventing Foil from getting to the truth of the allegations before him? That there was some risk that this dad was in fact using his young children for his sexual gratification. Nope. Foil dismissed mom's application nearly with glee.

No doubt, mom went to court ill-prepared for the task before her, but she did so precisely because she believed all those public service messages we see all the time that tells victims of domestic violence - which she was - that society cares about them and their children and is standing by to help them.

Sorry, that’s a big lie.

The system that is waiting for them is the one mom encountered that day: hostile; condescending; dismissive and determined to bring protective parents – usually moms – to their knees. Our courts are less ready and waiting for victims of domestic violence than they are lying in wait for them, and most victims will quickly recognize the familiar dynamic in the courtroom because it’s the same one they ran away from, only this one is even more terrifying because it’s coming from someone whose mere declaration or stroke of a pen establishes for evermore what is fair; what is just; who is right; who is wrong.

Someone in court told mom about me that day as she was leaving stunned, and that's how she came to my office. Because she came right away, I was able to file an objection to the order, which kept the TRO in place while we waited to go before an actual judge.

In the MEANTIME, Child Protective Services had opened proceedings in the juvenile court. Within days of mom being told by the Domestic Commissioner, Dan Foil, that she was not entitled to a protective order and that she would have to pay costs and attorney's fees b/c her application was frivolous, mom was charged by Child Protective Services with failure to protect her children because several months prior, one of the children had merely alluded to something improper with their dad, but wouldn't elaborate on it to mom, so mom had shrugged it off with a reminder to the kids that if they were ever uncomfortable with the way anyone was touching them, they should not be afraid to speak up. CPS used this as an indication that mom was on notice that all was not OK at Dad's well before she FINALLY reported it.

Keep in mind, this is the same CPS that told mom, AFTER mom reported the abuse, that she had to return the children to their abuser or be in contempt of court. This is the same agency that can remove a child from a parent’s care with a phone call to a judge and a cockamamie story about children having a roaches on their pacifiers and other such nonsense, but is powerless to protect children from being sent back to their abuser after they’ve been told directly by the children that they are being sexually molested in their father’s home.

This is the wild and wacky – and completely horrific - world of family court “justice.” In the family court, mom is a liar and punished for asking the court for protection, and in juvenile court, mom is a unfit parent because she didn't ask the court for protection sooner. Not only am I not making this up, it's really not that unusual.

But here's the real moral of the story.

Mom lost her job within weeks b/c of all the hoops she had to jump through for court, social services, and trying to ensure her kids got all the treatment they needed. On top of that, she wasn't receiving any child support. Always a strong and independent woman, she abruptly found herself having to apply to every charitable organization in the parish seeking financial assistance to keep from being homeless, car-less and childless, since CPS was threatening to take the children from her - and put them into foster care - if mom couldn't provide for them.

We started working on getting child support, but it took months and months. Dad got one continuance and delay after another. We had to seek relief from the appellate court, and finally, we were able to get before the trial judge. Dad didn't show, and I had these very brave kids, still under 10 years of age, in court to testify.

Can you imagine how scared they were? They were terrified that their dad would come in at any moment. They didn't know anyone in the courtroom, except for me and their mom, and they were seated in the gallery, looking UP at this woman judge - Mary Devereux - seated behind this huge wooden desk, otherwise known as the Bench.

I had told them before they came that they would have to tell the judge directly what their dad had done to them. I told them it was important and even though they were nervous and embarrassed, that the judge was a nice lady and wanted to help them.

And so, they testified, one after the other. Nervous, stilted, eyes downcast, but glancing up to see their mom the whole time, sending her nervous smiles. And then their mom testified, and as she did, the girls sat in the gallery, nervously whispering between themselves, restlessly squirming about, an occasional giggle coming from them. I didn't think much of it. They were kids and they had been so brave. I was proud of them.

When we finished, the judge granted our relief, finding the mother credible (and dad being a no-show, there was no one to contradict her). However, Judge Devereux added, to my mortification, with those two brave little warriors sitting there in her court room, that she DID NOT find the two children credible and she was deeply disturbed by their conduct during the hearing. In her experience, she had never seen children who had really been abused behave that way.

The girls were devastated. I was horrified. And yet, I had to smile nice at the judge and scrape and curtsy my way out of there just to be sure she didn't change her mind. We had gotten everything we asked for and it was not the time to call bullshit.

But, the story wasn't over there. With the court order, we were finally able to garnish dad's paycheck. Mom finally started to breathe a little easier. She had found another job that allowed her more flexible hours but paid less than her last one and the additional income was essential.

And then dad was indicted. Guess what happened? He lost his job. He managed to get another one relatively quickly, but it paid significantly less and he was now facing a trial that could send him to prison for years. Mom could see the writing on the wall.

She begged the local DA not to prosecute; she threatened not to cooperate. She argued it would be cruel to put her children through another episode of testifying since they were both now terrified of seeing another judge. To no avail. The criminal trial proceeded and this mom did cooperate under order of a subpoena, as did her girls. Dad was convicted and sent to prison for a decade or more.

It was a bittersweet victory for mom. Dad's conviction was satisfying, yes, but it was financially devastating. The financial struggle continues to this day and her children pay the price. They are all exceptionally smart, talented kids but their mom, who struggles by herself to put a roof over their heads, can't afford all the programs and activities that would ensure that these kids get to develop those talents. That's a tragedy for all of us.

Is it any wonder that so many women look at what the hurdles are, see that the odds are against them, and just stay? If having the SOB that beat you senseless put in prison is only going to make you homeless, carless, or worst of all, childless, why would anyone stay?

I know there are a lot of other reasons why women stay, and frankly, I think it’s a completely pointless question. Next time you ask, "Why do women stay?", you might answer with, "Why would women run from their battering partner - who is just one guy - to a whole system that operates on the batterer dynamic?" What we ought to be asking ourselves, if we really care about getting them out safely, is what can we do to help them leave?

My client got out, but the financial impact was huge. She is another one of those clients who amazed and inspired me in my daily struggles to find justice in our courts. As hard as my job was as an attorney - and there aren't many that are harder - I watched this mom take one blow after another - from an institution that was supposed to help her - and she just kept getting up and making it work. People call me a hero a lot. But it's all these moms - and dads - who are fighting to protect their children, not just from the predators they married or had children with, but from the courts themselves – who are the real heroes.

This system is broken. Wake up. Smell the blood splatter. Sign the petition. #starvingforjustice. 

2015 10 07 Hunger Strike update Day 7

2015-10-06 Hunger Strike update Day 6

St

Anonymous Heroes and #theemptychair

     I am often struck by how prevalent and insidious victim-blaming is even amongst people who would be (and are) offended should I accuse them of it. The Louisiana Supreme Court, Justice Knoll in particular, took “umbrage” with me for, as Justice Knoll said, my “online and social media activity that not only released the names of [minor children who were accusing their father of sexually abusing them], but also linked their audio conversations ...  detailing their abuse allegations ... [with] their faces on the world wide web for anyone to see.”

     I think many people who might otherwise disagree with the Supreme Court's decision to disbar me (see In re McCool, 2015-B-0254 (La. 6/30/2015)) nevertheless also experience a certain sense of discomfort with this particular issue. Some of my most loyal supporters have expressed a certain level of disapproval with me on this point and feel the need to make excuses for me, saying in some form or another, that my intentions were good, but in this respect, I probably went too far.

     I don't want to give the impression that I am attempting to justify not making any effort to hide the identity of these children. The fact is, I don't think I need to defend it because at the time I “linked their audio conversations online" - in other words, their description of the “game” their daddy had taught them called “weewees and butts” - and “posted their faces” on the web “for anyone to see,” they felt no shame about their disclosure or telling about what had been done to them. I saw no reason then to hide who they are, and if not for society's misguided efforts to "protect" them by hiding their identity, I wouldn't see any reason to hide it today.

     We haven't always confused concealing the identity of rape victims with “protection."  It was not that long ago when defense attorneys, during the trial of the rapist, were allowed to grill victims about how they were dressed and their sexual history as a means of shifting blame away from their rapist and back onto them, the practice that gave victim blaming its name.  It is only recently that police and prosecutors have stopped releasing the names of rape victims, and this practice was specifically adopted to protect victims from being attacked in the media and in their communities as “whores,” “liars,” and somehow deserving or the cause of what had "happened" to them. 

     The irony is that the need to hide the victims' identities was to protect them from the public, not their rapists. We, the public – we're the menace that rape victims – and child victims of incest and sexual abuse – must be protected from.  It is a testament to how entrenched victim blaming is that we rarely - if ever - question why it would be necessary to hide the identities of these particular victims, unlike any other victim of any other crime.  Society is so used to shaming and being shamed about sex, especially when it comes to the sexual activity of women, that the best solution for the character assassination that rape victims were subjected to by the public and the justice system, was to force the victims to bear the burden of  what had "happened" to them, as if it hadn't been done to them.  

     The fact is, if victim blaming weren't so insidious and accepted within our society, we wouldn't need to hide rape victims' identity from that very same society.   And the greatest irony is that hiding the identity of the most vulnerable victims - children- doesn't protect children at all, especially in family court.  It only serves to protect the perpetrators.  

     Those two little girls continue to be my heroes. They were so brave then and continue to be brave to this day: still trapped in the courts; still fighting to be heard; still struggling to be protected by our “justice” system. If it were up to me, I would say their names every time I tell their story and publish all the evidence of what their father did to them for everyone to read, since the courts couldn't be bothered to look at it.  I would tell the world that the shame lies solely with their abuser and the judges who presided over this case and who didn't just have an opportunity to look at the evidence in the case - they had a sworn duty to look at it.  

      It is all the Justice Knolls of the world who hide their conduct, but not their names,  behind their black robes and the "best interest of the child" doctrine who should be ashamed.  In their arrogance and ignorance, they make victims out of heroes, and pat themselves on the back for "protecting" children from public damnation, but not from the monsters who abuse them. I am disgusted that these girls, and thousand of other victims of rape, incest and sexual abuse who find the courage to speak out against their abusers and rapists, are NOT protected or celebrated as heroes for speaking out against the worst betrayal a child can endure, but instead offered anonymity as comfort and no protection whatsoever.  

    Judges all over the country, every day, call children liars; they tell these children they've been brainwashed, and they tell them to shut up and never speak of what's being done to them again; they tell these children that if they keep complaining, these judges – in their infinite hubris – will take these children away from the parent who would protect them, and put them with the very person the children are begging to be protected from. They tell these children that, if he or she doesn't stop repeating their allegations of abuse, they will put these children in jail.  

     And finally, these judges – in their infinite stupidity that is otherwise referred to as "discretion" - tell these desperate children that they will put their parent in jail. But not the one who is hurting them. No. They tell these children that their protective parent will go to jail, unless the children shut up and lie and never speak of the abuse again.  This is what judges all over the country consider acting "in the child's best interest."  And they do all this without ever bothering, and absolutely refusing to in the case that ultimately got me disbarred, to look at a shred of evidence.  

     And so, the children who start out telling about what was done to them end up living in fear that someone will find out about what "happened" to them; they lower their eyes and feel tainted; damaged; second-best; undeserving of real love. And study after study shows that victims of childhood abuse, rape and sexual abuse are much more likely to choose abusive relationships as adults, because, at some level, they believe its all they deserve. They have gotten the message loud and clear that if anyone knew what "happened" to them, they will be pitied and scorned.  They logically conclude that if anyone who is decent and kind pays them any attention, they are lucky, and if that person turns out to be not-so decent and kind? Well then, they're still lucky to have anyone who will ever show them kindness, in spite of their shame, even if it is punctuated by brutality.

    Because it was never my decision whether or not to identify these two particular little girls who chose for themselves to speak out and tell anyone who would listen what was being done to them, I won't identify them now, but not because I pity them for what was done to them, no matter how vile. I pity us as a nation that we are so clueless  that we prefer to silence the victims rather than silence those who would blame the victims; that rather than being empowered by their ability to protect themselves through disclosure, victims of rape, incest and sexual assault of all ages are told that we will protect them by keeping their "shame" a secret.  I especially pity anyone who thinks that Justice Knoll's "umbrage" is some sign that she has any idea at all of what is in children's "best interest."    

     Justice Knoll has no idea what she's talking about.   Her "umbrage" would be better directed at the two trial court judges who violated the law and deprived these two girls and their mother, not just of justice, but even access to justice.  Her umbrage should be directed at herself for using these children as a disguise for her outrage at me and my willingness to criticize other judges for failing to do what they are sworn to do.  Her umbrage should be with everyone, including herself, who would shame me for saying the names of two young warriors who fight every day to be safe from their father and the courts; her umbrage should be with their father who used them for his own self-gratification and the judges who helped him by refusing to admit evidence "for one reason or another, as judges do." 

    So Justice Knoll can take all the umbrage with me she wants, and frankly, she can take it with her straight to hell. The devil I believe in has a special place reserved just for her.